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16

Apr

night

in bed writing this

time, the night and moody music get your mind wandering. i’ve been listening to blond redhead almost obsessively lately. i’m not really sure why either. it’s not that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread or anything, but they came at the right time. things happen that way usually, you’re given what you need, even if you don’t know it. i came upon them by chance, or so it seems. i was looking around at giant robot and found a review on them. i got some of their music and it just hit me, it was just how i was feeling at the moment. they sound a bit like other bands i used to listen to: my bloody valentine, cocteau twins, the cure. but they have their own little moody thing going on.

things are good right now for me. moving has been a great experience, and just what i needed. but just like i mentioned in a previous post, everything has an opposite, balancing force. and there is a part of my mind and heart that has been partly set adrift in this move. it’s the acknowledgement of time and life, the reality that everything is always in flux, changing, beautiful and dying, in an instant. when you are in one place, in a routine of work and a “regular” life, things move by quickly, like a long blur. there is a comfort in that, safety. but when you break out of that circular path, so many strange new things flood into your mind, things you couldn’t see before, because you were content to ignore them for the warm comforts of repetition. but it can come on fast and hard as well, a rushing rapid, and take you by surprise. it’s not that i’m so surprised by the possibilities anymore, it’s something different now, a deeper vibration. it’s a realization that we are all part of the same thing, and a knowing that we can really do anything we want. but in that also comes a quiet sadness, my eyes take in all the silent thoughts from others. i can see so many things in eyes, things i’d rather forget. of course it’s not all bad, but i feel like i meet far to many people in desperate pain. these days i meditate, not sitting in a yoga pose and humming, but just quietly as i move through my day, sending out the most grounded and loving vibrations that i can create in my mind. now i know many of you out there are thinking, ok he’s going to talk about crystals next. nope, quantum physics. the observer can change reality. so what is everyone manifesting for themselves? please think about what you really want tonight. let go of all your fears, your problems, and just for a moment float in your mind and think about what you really love.

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